Sophie

Happy Birthday my little monkey! Even though you will probably never read this because your mom is pretty lame with the internet, I thought I'd wish you all the best on your big 10th birthday. I hope you get all the cool presents you want & get to eat lots & lots of cake & pizza & sugar cereal (I forgot to add that to your birthday present - sorry!).


Monkey girl

You are a totally cool kid & I miss you all the time. I hope our little bun grows up to be like you, smart & fun & a funky dresser. You rock Sophie!


Laura & Sophie among the animals.

Birthdays & boobs

Some belated Happy Birthdays to Christine E, Tonya, Uncle Scott & my pal Tracey's new little 10 pound stinker, Scarlett. Yay! The biggest birthday wish goes out of course to my mum, celebrating her .... well, maybe she doens't want it broadcast so lets just say its a major milestone-ish one. Here's to you Weener!



















Man I love that wallpaper!

Not much new around here, just getting things organized & ready for bun. Halloween outfit purchased - check. Santa Claus Pub Crawl outfit picked out - check. Baby care tips from the Onion read - check. Shirt with boob holes purchased - check. Let's see..... what else could I be forgetting?

Probably everything. Do I care anymore? Not so much. I'll just send the sugar daddy out when we get desperate. I know how much guys love to be sent to the drugstore to buy feminine hygiene products & urinary incontinence bedpads. Not to mention the hemorrhoid cream & the diaper rash ointment. Oh what fun it is to look forward to this stuff.


















I think I'm beginning to freak out.

Thar she blows

No not me.

There's just stuff blowing all over the back yard. Its crazy windy today & summer has definitely left us. Oh well. I love fall. Time to dig out the sweaters & fleece jackets. Too bad I have only one pair of long pants that truly fit at the moment. Get used to seeing me in brown cords for the next few weeks people. Good thing I've got two (count 'em -two!) long sleeved shirts to mix & match with said cords. Wow, am I ever stylish! At least I work at home & can pretty much wear those sexy red velvety housepants everyday. Or my gym working out clothes with the shirts that are now barely covering the bottom of my belly. Soooo attractive.

I am now officially huge people. Don't know what about the hugeness is actually official, but since it sounds official and stuff I'm going with it. Man, my brain sucks. I sit watching Jeopardy now making half-hearted attempts at forming answers into the form of a question and by the time I get around to doing that the answer is already being given so I blurt along with the contestant some incoherent babbling mumble of some fake word I think sounds like the words coming out of their mouths. Kind of like faking the lyrics to songs you think you should know. ("Girl with colitis goes by" anyone?)

Back to the hugeness. Though apparently not. Midwife visit yesterday (at home with Josee - yay!) keeps me at 36 cm fundal height so again a few days behind. Next door neighbour says I'm tiny but will have a humongous baby. I just don't know. I'm really not obsessed with my size or anything, its just part of the interesting package that is pregnancy & what it does to ones body. It is really fascinating seeing oneself grow in ways you may have imagined, but not ever fully expected to such a degree. That and watching the thing move. Kind of like when we put a blanket over the dog and he snuffs & snorts & tries to get out from under it. You can see the body move under the cover, but are never sure of what body part is actually making the shape. Then of course he finally gets out & pants & farts. Then he wants to go back in. I imagine foolishly that this is what birth could be like. A panting, farting baby that prefers it back in the oven after it has squirmed itself out.

Midwife appointment all good, though my blood pressure went up a bit (118 / 76), mostly I think because of all the laughing we were doing moments before. Turns out she's looking forward to our hillarious birth, just like the nurse at the hospital. All this pressure for a fun labour... what the hell are these people gonna do when I start swearing like a character from a South Park movie? Me and my 4 assed baby, though we are now assured it only has one ass unlike this poor creature.
















Apparently the bun has dropped a little bit (I'll post a belly shot this weekend so you can see if there's any difference) & I gotta admit, it has been feeling a little bit different the past day or so. Not as much pressure to breathe unless I'm sitting down (which is most of the time) & the belly is squished upwards. The ribs are still tender, but nothing like the time Calvin broke a couple of them swing dancing (try explaining that to the emergency room physician who is really thinking why the hell aren't we filing a police report?). Its getting a bit harder to walk, but I'm still not waddling anymore than my normal duck-like walk. Of course this may change once it drops even further, but I'm hoping what's left of my once decent posture will prevent the full-fledged waddle from coming on. Crossing my fingers.

I think the nesting has started as well. I've been cleaning up like never before - its like I've got company coming over all the time or something. Its very unlike me to acutally want to scrub the floor. I go in the bun's room & start organizing until I can't do any more.... then I just sit on the bed thinking & planning all the other things I need to do to the room. Its not as though we have a real nursery. For an interior designer, my room decor is pretty abysmal, though the walls are painted & the closet is finally getting organized. We still need a new dresser, some shelves, a dimmmer switch for the lighting & the crib (another donation coming - yay!). IKEA here we come. Too bad the nesting instinct has yet to reach into my office. There's just too many pieces of paper floating around & it becomes totally overwhelming soon after I begin any attempt at organization. It'd be nice to just toss it all out & start from scratch, but I think that would probably just get me into trouble.

Speaking of trouble, I'd just like to inform everyone that I started out with ice cream for breakfast & ended my day with a Beaver Tail. mmmmmm Killaloe Sunrise...... How's that for healthy?

Ya'll are evil....

But I still love you.

I've been trying to figure out for a couple of days now just what to write & how to express my sincere gratitude for everyone's generosity, whilst trying to maintain some modicum of funny. Its hard. I keep getting all verklempt (talk amongst yourselves.....) when I think about what a nice bunch of friends we have. Seriously, you guys are the bomb. (I don't know about you, but that expression gives me the giggles.)

This post was supposed to be all about the new car & general blathering, & I guess I really do have to thank our new Kia Spectra for giving Calvin the excuse to get me over to Geoff & Katherine's place on Saturday afternoon to my surprise baby shower! G & K had mentioned getting a new car before so I was totally unsuspicious when Calvin mentioned that they wanted to see our new relatively cheap purchase so why not come over for some lunch after yoga class & they'd also give us some extra baby clothes or something like that. Okeedokee, sounds like fun. Little did I know that Katherine & Karen had been secretly meeting & going on lunch dates with my innocent hubby to plan their surprise attack. I do have to say that I got suspicious when I heard some vaguely familiar voices coming from the vicinity of the backyard & then Katherine didn't let us in the front door & made us go around back. Seemed a little odd.

So anyway, you got me good people. It was the perfect party; casual & comfy, yummy food, fun conversations with pals, boys & girls & kids all having a fun time on a late summer afternoon. I couldn't have asked for anything more & certainly did not expect even this much. In fact, I totally thought I was off the hook on the whole shower thing for which I was grateful since I don't really like being the centre of attention (that's more of a Calvin thing.... I just throw in snide remarks every once in a while to deflect all the glitter) plus we'd already been given so much already. But this was just the best day ever & just the kind of party I love so I have to thank with all my heart the lovely hostesses for putting on such a wonderfully festive affair. I'm even more grateful now.

And then there was the loot! (Try this link for a slideshow. Crossing fingers that it works.)Now I know why Calvin was bugging me to register for stuff. I mostly did it because its fun to go shopping with those zapper machines & pretend like you've got all the money in the world to spend. Same with the wishlist thingy. Its like some virtual world where you can get that shopping high without spending all your hard earned cash. Not like I ever expected to get any of it. But, thanks to all you crazy people & your gerenous gift giving natures, we're now stocked up in the cutest clothes, the softest toys imaginable, sweet sweet shoes, bath, boob & baby bum supplies, educational media & other great items to keep baby dry, cuddly & hopefully cry-free. We can't thank you enough! Gush, gush, gush.

Thank you all for being there with us & supporting us in our new adventure. Though its a scary ride in many ways & you all know I've done my fair share of complaining, we are soooo looking forward to meeting the bun in a few weeks & getting to know the little monster that has been having a grand ol' time dancing around in my ever burgeoning belly. I feel like I've learned so much more about myself & about life in the world in general since I've gotten knocked up. I know that sounds a bit trite & its not to say that because I'm pregnant I've got some weird advantage over someone who's not, but just that I've spent so much time on this emotional roller coaster that I can't help but come to terms with what I can & can't deal with. It is such a selfish time & yet I have no real sense of control over what happens to me or those I know & love... I guess its really a time of acceptance. So on that note, I gratefully accept all the help, knowledge, wisdom & even most of the assvice from everyone. I just keep taking it all in & letting it sizzle until the time comes when I'll need it most. And I'm sure I'll need it & appreciate it all even more then.

Thank you all so very much.

Visits & outings

Looks like I never got around to really finishing my post the other day, but we've been doing lots of stuff & I needed to put my feet up for a while to take some of the swelling down. Looks like I missed National Talk Like a Pirate Day as well so ya'll just have to wait until next year mateys. I've also missed a ladies night out due to complete forgetfulness & 3 belly dancing classes due to tiredness / laziness / sore feetedness. To top it all off we almost missed out on an entire Sigur Ros concert on Sunday night due to lack of moving air at the Bronson Centre. I think this would normally be a great venue for a show / concert as the hall itself was quite nice & the seats reasonably comfy, however, the fact that the place was at capacity without the air conditioning being on pretty much ensured that one felt like they were walking into a solid wall of hot, damp, stank air. You could see the moisture just floating around waiting to silently loft its way down to your unsuspecting lungs. ( I think my hair knew the gig was up..... as my niece Sophie says, my hair isn't so much curly as it is frizzy!) I lasted 2 songs of the opening act Amina before I had to bail out of our balcony seats to get some fresh air. We sat in the lobby for a bit before deciding that the bun was hungry & then made our way to Shanghai for some yummy tidbits. Eventually we made our way back to the show just in time to hear my favorite song & managed to stick it out in the back of the hall for the last 3 or 4 songs. Its too bad we couldn't have seen the entire thing, because what little we saw was fantastic. Calvin figures we paid about $10 a song, but I still think it was totally worth it. Takk takk Sigur Ros & the wonderful birds.

Monday night we went to Sears (and the online wishlist thing) & registered for some stuff since people have been bugging us (nicely!) about getting something for the bun. We really don't need much since our friends & family have already donated so generously to the cause, but if you must I've added links on the side here to stuff we've come across that's awfully cute, but not awfully necessary. We're totally set up in most of the essentials (still trying to decide on a crib) & we've got toys & receiving blankets coming out the ying yang so everything else is just bonus from here on end. Who knows, there could still be a whole lot of crap we need, but I think we're running out of room in our little house & I'm still trying to wrap my head around how many freaking diapers (going the cloth route until the amount of laundry overwhelms me) I'm going to be going through.

Oh ya, we do NOT know the sex, even though Calvin's mom thinks we are conspiring against her & not telling because we are just evil that way. I've gone back & forth in my predictions, mostly favouring the girl side & I've heard all kinds of opinions & old wives tales on the subject. Pro on the female is that I'm carrying high, fetal heartrate is over 140, the ring test went in circles & I've craved sweet things & fruit. Pro on the boy side is that I've also craved sour salty things, my skin has been nice for the most part, my pillow(s) faces north & that I've been incredibly good looking during most of the pregnancy (ignoring of course the bags under my eyes, the water retention, the feeling like a total bag & hey those spider veins on my legs look great amid all the freckles). At first I spread out ass wise pretty good & felt round everywhere so apparently that goes towards girly girl, but now I seem to have lost some of that extra padding & gained a bit of a basketball so that points to boy. Take it as you will. You can speculate all you want, start a pool (we'll donate it to charity) or just decide to wait it out with us. All in good time folks.

Yesterday we went for our hospital tour at the Monfort. Pretty nice for a hospital & Calvin was totally impressed with the crazy contraption of a bed & the pictures of the woman in a unitard using it with her chinoed partner. I personally liked the humongous tub that could probably fit about 5 people. Nice! Our tour guide nurse was super sweet & I think she wants us to page her when we come in because we (I guess mostly Calvin) kept her laughing the whole time & she told the lactation consultant we were hillarious. Yay us! Hanging out in the hospital is not my idea of a good time (though hubby really thinks the laughing gas would be swell), but we probably wouldn't be spending a great deal of time there since I can labour at home for most part & leave 4 hours after the birth if I want to. If it comes down to the wire & I don't want to move I've also got the homebirth option. This is of course as long as things progress normally with no complications. I'm going in to this with as open a mind as I can have & we'll just take it all as it comes. Its about the safety & integrity of the bun that counts in the end no matter what the bunmaster's plans are right?

Today was midwife day with Josee & we chatted about going to the hospital, using the birthing balls (apparently disinfected & covered up with pads.... something I was a tad curious about), what to do & not do when membranes rupture, group B strep, umbilical cord stumps & the fact that the laughing gas tank at the hospital is still out for repair after several months (poor Calvin probably won't get his treat though that's probably a good thing according to this story). I did the Strep swab (kinda gross), had another great blood pressure reading (108/68) & actually measured 36 weeks. I'm finally on target! I knew it had popped out a bit more, even though I still haven't gained any more weight. Holding steady at 25 pounds which is just fine with me, thank you very much. I can only attribute this to the Body Flow & Yoga classes as well as the fact that I can only fit about 10 mouthfuls of whatever I'm eating at a time into my shrunken stomach located somewhere up near my throat at this point.

The bun is up in my ribs & there is one foot that really likes to jam itself in there furiously when I least expect it. I got a huge bump in the night around 3 am yesterday when it decided to kick me full force in what I think was my stomach, waking me almost puking. That was nice. Its still in the same position with head down, ass up (I'm not going there.....) but has not dropped yet. I can feel limbs moving around constantly on the right side of my body, which is cool, surreal & sometimes painful. I think I'm feeling Braxton Hicks when I walk the dog. Sometimes I have to stop & catch my breath they are so strong. I'm getting incredibly tired most of the time now & walking for any length of time just kills my feet... man I feel pathetic. At the end of the day my hands are feeling puffy now too, but hopefully I won't have to take off my ring until the end. Bun should be around 6 pounds now & is most likely developing all those cute baby fat rolls so everyone will have something to pinch. I know you can hardly wait. Me? I'm going for a nap to bide my time.....

Whining & belly shots

Sorry its been a few days people. I'm overwhelmed with exhaustion & emotions at this point so I'm finding myself taking quite a few naps which leaves considerably less time to type. I lurve napping! It prevents me from becoming the uber-bitch that I was feeling like last week. It was like super pms just hit me over the head & then rammed itself like a mac truck into poor Calvin's unsuspecting mind. He keeps telling me oh so sweetly that I'm the bestest ever pregnant lady in the whole wide world so I don't think he was up for my descent into hormonal hell, but like I said the naps have made me much more pleasant again.

I probably wouldn't need so many zzzzzs during the day if I could just get a good night's sleep. (As if that's ever going to happen again.) Despite the antacid regimen there's still the ever present heartburn & mild sore throat (is this going to do some permanent damage?) that warrants me drinking litres of water, which then promotes never-ending bathroom jaunts. This is now coupled with me feeling like a turtle on its back waving my little fat feet in the air to try & get some leverage just so I can get up out of bed to do said peeing. Plus the grunting & groaning as I attempt this daredevil feat would be totally embarrassing if anyone besides Calvin & the dog were around to witness it.

Getting around is now generally a whole lot harder than I ever thought it would be. Tying my shoes, getting in & out of the car, bending over to pick up crap that I drop on the floor, touching my toes in exercise class.... all becoming more & more difficult as time flies by. Stupidly I always imagined myself to not be one of those pregnant women who had these difficulties, because damn it, I'm flexible. I'm so freaking bendy that one of the yoga teachers used to call me Gumby. Those were the days. Looks like reality has hit me square in the belly now & I have come to the realization that trying to bend one's body over a soccer ball is severly limiting. Trying to shave my legs has become quite the interesting ordeal, not to mention the bikini area. I really have to ask myself why bother? I haven't gone swimming in about 2 months though I keep pretending that I'll go tomorrow. I am also becoming very limited in my choice of footwear as my feet are feeling tremendously puffy by day's end. We went into the Aldo outlet the other day since stuff was on sale & I really need some new cute but plain black footwear & let me tell you just how nice it was to see water retention fat rolls hanging over the sides of really pretty shoes. I know I really don't have it all that bad compared to many other preggos out there, but hey, I'm allowed to have a little wallow into self-pity land every once in a while. Maybe I just need more naps.





















This is what I really look like.

But......

This is what I really feel like.

Birthdays, weddings & countdowns

Post coming later... gotta work right now.
These pics should tempt you to come back.

Were you tempted?

Just wanted to wish a few more Happy Birthdays to my uncle Denis, Stan the man, Beezer, myself & my darling sweet hubby Calvin. Here's to you geek!


Proof of the geekness. Hanging out in Dorval airport searching for wireless hotspots. None to be found sadly so it was off to get a beer & magazines after this. Of course, idiots that we are, we left the magazines at the bar so we had nothing to read on the train ride home.

After getting back to Ottawa we had 2 days of work, then it was wedding weekend number 4 of 2005. Our pal Jody came to stay with us so we fed her poorly & kept her out 'till the wee hours of both Friday & Saturday nights. Friday was rehearsal pub night at the Fox n' Feather on Elgin, which consisted of Calvin whinning & complaining about how cold he was out on the patio. It was a bit chilly & I had persuaded him to leave his big leather jacket at home since I figured we'd be inside all night. Big mistake! Though I apologized profusely for my major blunder, he would not shut up about it for the entire weekend. I even went back to the car to see what I could find for him to put on & found what I thought was his long sleeved biking jersey. Whoops. Turns out it was King's smelly short-sleeved jersey which had been in the car getting dank for about 2 weeks. He put it on anyway & suffered all night like a miserable sucky-baby. And guess what? I drove home again.

Saturday turned out to be glorious weather wise so yet another perfect wedding afternoon was had by everyone at the beautiful Billings Estate Museum. Katherine looked gorgeous, Geoff looked super duper happy & the Timbit was as cute as ever. Delicious food by Nate's Deli, a whack of yummy cakes & chocolate fondue topped it all off. That & Jesse's Girl. Everyone had such a great time, though it seemed to end too fast. This was remedied of course by going back to Elgin Street for a whiff of desperation. If you've ever been to Maxwell's you'll understand what I mean. It just oozes off the cougars there. The place is great for a laugh & can be tons of fun if you're drunk, on a stagette or just want some entertainment. If you are 8.5 months pregnant & stone cold sober, its only mildly entertaining. The dance floor was downright scary so even though Calvin tried to pull & persuade me up there, I high tailed it back to an empty barstool. From this vantage point I had a fantastic view of many tight t-shirts encasing large fake boobs bounce around boys with greasy long hair. Ahhh, a perfect way to cap off a fine wedding.

For some bizarre reason I was the one who woke up with a hangover the next day, not my fellow housemates who'd been merrymaking all night long. Screw you both, you bastards! Must have been the all night urge to urinate every hour on the hour. Either that or the frequent feeling that the bun is trying to punch & kick its way out via my ribcage. Anyway after a nice Sunday brunch our jolly Jody left us with a lovely parting gift for the little monster that our dog now wants to devour. Its a totally cool little toy that lights up, rattles & squeaks in all the right places to tempt Joxer the Mighty Dog in all the right ways. I'm a little concerned that I'll be spending a fortune on Dollar Store stuffed toys just to keep him out of the baby's stuff.

Speaking of baby, we've made it to 34 weeks so only 2 more until term. That's freaking scary! Looks like it weighs about 5 pounds now & is pretty much just getting fatter by the day. I'm still the same weight as a couple of weeks ago, but I think I've expanded a bit more. I'm still measuring about a week & a half behind fundal height wise (32.5 at 34 weeks) & my blood pressure was totally excelllent at the last midwife appointment (108 / 60) as was bun's heartbeat. Thrashy McKicky is slam dancing quite frequently against my ribs & is almost always facing my right side which is actually more comfortable than the left as it always manages to find my spleen or the scar tissue left from the ovarian cyst I had early on. Uncomfortable to say the least. The past few days I've been constantly starving so I'm trying to eat lots of small teeny tiny meals to keep the hunger & the demon heartburn away. The super-duper strength Zantac & Gaviscon combo the doctor ordered seems to be working pretty well, but I still have to stay away from evil foods such as onions, tomatoes, soft drinks, caffeine (I water down the coffee in the morning) salads, spices & supposedly, chocolate though I haven't had too many issues with that - probably mind over matter.

Anyway, since some of you are far away & want an update on my girth, here's a couple of pictures from this weekend.


ADIDAS
Aren't I saucy?

Here's one from the wedding on Saturday. I'm wearing my "L" pin Amma gave me ages ago. Calvin likes to call me Laverne when I wear it. I like to call him jackass.


Wedding belly fun.

Where'd I go?

To the Rock of course. For wedding number three of 2005.

The trip started off with a train ride to Montreal (love the train) & then we jet-setted it off to Halifax so we could hang out at the airport for 4 hours while we waited for our connection to St. John's. If you want free wireless internet at Halifax International go hang out at the pub near security. You too can look like a total geek while you booze it up.

We got into town & were soon regaled with gifts via Calvin's mom. I now have more than a gazillion receiving blankets, burp pads, & warm fuzzy blankets to last through eternity. I'm still not totally up to speed on the dynamics of receiving blankets, other than they're great for drooly babies that like to spit up frequently. I kind of thought that's what the burp pads were for. Man am I ever dumb when it comes to this stuff. I'll just blame it on pregnancy brain though & hope for the best. Seriously, even if you tell me what its all for or what something does, it'll all go in like whah whah whah whah whah (ala Charlie Brown's teacher) & leave me remembering diddly-squat. I'm telling you, don't even bother. Brain has officially turned to mush though I apparently have enough left to remember some people telling me it'll never come back. Great. So much for all the "gifted" classes I was in once upon a time. Gifted my ass.... more like my ass is gifted. Bwah ha ha I'm so funny.

OK... not.

Back to the presents. Mrs. D also made us this lovely quilt which I hope to never get any forementioned baby puke on. My favorite part is the butterflies border. The back part has ladybugs & other cute insects along with a message from Grammy to the new little terror. He or she will be wrapped with love. Ain't that sweet? Here's a pic.


The new quilted love wrap.

Besides the wedding festivities we mostly hung out with the family rather than do anything touristy. No fish n'chips at Leo's. No excursions around the bay. No fantastic hikes. Just lots of napping on my part. We did manage to get in one glorious afternoon at Cape Spear with Bruce & Susanne & the boys. The weather was fantastic & you could see Skademia sailing gently by. Thomas enjoyed the flashlight tour of the old amunition bunker & I almost passed out on the stairs up to the lighthouse. Despite the rack my sister so nicely pointed out already in the comment section, my lungs are probably the size of a rabbit's at the moment making any physical effort on my part a gaping mouthed panting & huffing ordeal as I try to suck enough oxygen out of the air around me (already stagnant with my exhalations) to sustain my momentum. Here's a souveneir of our day before I was totally winded. I'm the one that looks like I've been devoured by a crazy bubblegum monster.


Bubblegum pink.

After our day at the Cape, we all went out to celebrate our birthdays at a restaurant down in the Gut. The food was yummy, especially the scruncheons & the berry crumble. Mmmmmmmm. I couldn't stop laughing the entire night so my napping must've paid off. Add to that jokes about Ron Hines, something about pirates & this

lonely man with ascot & you've got me in hysterics. Good times man, good times. Love the ascot. No really, I do.

On to what we went to Newfoundland for. The wonderful wedding of Walter & Justyna in Portugal Cove. To sum it up, gorgeous dress, sunny skies by the ocean, a nice Catholic ceremony (we've been to some that have been really loooooong) & a priest that messed up the bride's name. Nothing like being called the wrong name during your weding ceremony to make your special day all the more special. Afterwards Calvin I drove out near Fox Trap to see if we could see the Queen Mary II that was sitting in the bay. You could see it from far away, but as we got closer it was hidden by Little Bell Island so we decided to go to Berg's for some yummy ice cream instead.

mmmmm soft serve twist cone mmmmmm

Then back home for a change of clothes & on to great food & dancing all night at the reception at Murray's Pond. Calvin started off with a G&T, then moved on to the Caesars, followed by red & white & sparkling wine with dinner, then some more G&Ts to be topped off at the end of the night by some fine single-malt. Needless to say, Calvin has now fully taken advantage of the free designated driver situation he has. Good thing it was also his birthday so he was in less trouble than he could've been from me. Cheers to you good buddy!


The happiest couple ever.

Anyway, after a much fun-filled time in Newfoundland we headed off to Halifax to see my sister Andrea for a couple of days, along with Pete & Sophie & Emma. It was a great way to wind down before going home & back to work. Finally got in some great fish n' chips & yet more ice cream (you should all buy stocks in Lactaid at the rate I'm going.... & of course Zantac) & homemade fudge. I got a very pretty necklace for my birthday that Sophie picked out herself & also a wonderful blue manicure. It was Soph's first day of grade 5 at a new school the day we left so Uncle Camel & I got to walk her to school & check out her oh so hip & cool outfit along with several of her friend's Avril Lavinge shirts. On the way home I tripped myself up on the sidewalk & went down pretty hard on my knee & hands. Nothing like seeing a pregnant lady fall to get some attention. I think Calvin caught me sort of on the way down & the belly missed the sidewalk so that's good, but now my ankle is kind of blue & swollen while the other foot is messed up near my toes. Don't think I'll be doing much dancing at this weekend's wedding (#4 of 2005). Oh well, I'll just keep thinking about ice cream.



Ice cream buddies

See ya buddy

So dude.....


you're moving here.

The city of beans beckons you. Enjoy the Sam Adams, the Red Sox & the expensively delicious fish n'chips. We'll come visit so our monster baby can trash your new apartment.

Just watch out for these guys ok?



We'll miss you rock star skateboarder!

Rock on

Feel like crap again

Oooooo this is so much fun.

I've had this feeling like I've been coming down with a cold for the past couple of weeks, but since it never really progressed, I just chalked it up to seasonal allergies combined with pregnancy stuffiness. Then my throat got really sore. Didn't make the connection of the heartburn worsening to the fluish symptoms. Why would I?

Getting up at 2:00 am because the heartburn is so bad you want to puke & you can't go back to bed because you need to stand up for about an hour to let the acid hopefully retreat back down your gullet & give your butt a rest because even if you go back to bed its not like you can actually lie down like a normal human being but have to "sleep" propped into a permanent sitting position by 6 pillows, gives one time to do some late night googling. About heartburn. Turns out the raw burning sensation in my throat that goes all the way up to the back of my mouth is due to stomach acid. There's acid burning holes in my throat people! Hydrochloric acid. "The acid in your stomach is so concentrated that if you were to place a drop on a piece of wood, it would eat right through it. " Good to know.

So because I'm paranoid from lack of sleep & now deeply troubled about how much acid is in my poor poor extremely sore throat I decide to go to the Appletree walk-in clinic (which is kind of nearby) as soon as it opens on Sunday morning at 10 am. Not a good idea.

This place sucks major ass. The doctor that was supposed to be there never showed up until 11:30. The place smells like urine. I saw a bug on the floor. The carpet is seriously filthy & the walls are greasy from where people put their heads because they are so tired of waiting in this hell hole. Some of the clientele decidedly lack decent personal hygiene skills. There is no water in the crappy vending machine so all I could get to soothe my throat was Sprite which I proceeded to get in shit for drinking from the very late doctor. Duh, I know soft drinks aren't so hot for heartburn, but perhaps if I wasn't waiting for a freaking hour & a half I wouldn't have got so bloody thirsty in the first place. She then proceeded to give me shit for not drinking milk to soothe the acid, even though I told her I was super-duper lactose intolerant. She told me my baby would not be able to grow its bones properly. She told me I would probably need antibiotics for my sore throat because there was a small white spot. Then she left me in the room for about 10 - 15 minutes while she looked in her free drug supply closet so she could read the white piece of paper from the drug manufacturer about whether the one she had in stock was ok for pregnancy. She then went on to inform me that I was lucky because these pills weren't cheap & that I was being given some & to oh, bring them back if I didn't use them all. No prescription, no decent line of questioning symptoms or medical history. Talked to me like I was stupid & pretty much made me cry all the way home.

I called my wonderful GP's office this morning, managed to get in at the last minute & got myself properly taken care of. So much for trying not to be a burden on the health care system. Hopefully the plethora of drugs & decent information I am now stocked with will turn me back into the jolly drunk-like pregnant chick that I was a little while ago. That really was much more fun.

Feeling much better... with no swearing

Now that I know you were all shocked (SHOCKED!!!) at my language in my last post I figured I'd let y'all know I cuss like a sailor all the time. But only for punctuation purposes. And mostly at home or in the car. And here you all thought I was this innocent prude. You've all met Calvin right? I'm patient, but not that patient.... Sometimes the appropriate swear helps get the point across much better than some other expletive. Plus its fun. And shocking!

So I've now stocked up on Zantac again. Life is much better when there are no burning bits of bile lodged in your oesophagus (I always thought that started with an e). Especially at the 2 - 4 am time slot. The drugs don't totally make the heartburn disappear, but at least make it more manageable. I'm still constantly belching which is mighty attractive if I do say so myself. Especially in gym class or yoga or the grocery store. I'm one sexy mama! Now if I can just figure out a way to get my legs to relax as I try to doze off and get rid off the aching hip pain I'll be all set to get a good night's sleep. Ya right, as if that's gonna happen.

I've now hit the 32 weeks mark. That's 8 months. Holy crap! My sources tell me that the bun should be about 4 pounds & about 19" long (head to toe), plus the brain now looks like a mass of spaghetti (FSM anyone?) that can hear & process all the swearing I've been doing. I think the little parasite is also sucking all the iron out of my prenatal vitamins & leaching any calcium left in my system because I'm now lacking in energy again & I feel ridges on my fingernails. If I take any more iron I'm sure I'll never have to go to the bathroom again which could be a nice change from the regular IBS afflicted intestinal tract I posess. The calcium thing is a bit of a problem though since the lactose intolerance is intolerable and would mess up that fine iron balance I'll be working on. For you who think lactose intolerance is just some popular tv affliction, I'm here to tell ya its a literal pain in the ass. (Whoops! Looks like I swore again, but at least you hear that one on tv all the time now so you probably didn't even notice... until I pointed it out of course.) You try asking wait staff constantly if the dish you want to eat contains any dairy & see how soon you feel like Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally (oooo now I'm dating myself).

Anyway, time to get ready to go burp along to yoga class & then its off shopping for patio stones with my aunt. Wheee! I must however, before I depart, wish several pals a big hearty congrats in the baby-making department. Now we know you had sex! Mine of course was conceived through some sort of immaculate conception that might have involved a lot of tequila and a piano bar. Seriously though, congratulations to all of you (I won't post your names on the information super-highway unless you want me to)! It'll be nice to commiserate with a few more ladies who are in the "family way".

It's 3:45 am

and I have the worst fucking heartburn ever.

I was going to write this at 2:00 am, but thought, oh, I'll get back to sleep & it'll go away. I can't find any Zantac & my car is trapped in the driveway by Calvin's car (something weird going on with that thing) so I can't get to the 24 hour drugstore for more.

I'm itchy & the restless leg thing has serious potential to drive me completely insane.

Being knocked up ain't so much fun at the moment.

To top this all off, the cricket that has lodged itself permanently under the pool coping won't shut the hell up either. It's been like this for days.

If I'm grumpy tomorrow / today you now all know why. Pity Calvin please.

Marathon Wedding

So the wedding was fantastic & the drive was loooooooong. So very long. We ended up stopping in the home of the Big Nickel on Thursday evening (Calvin was sad it wasn't a Sudbury Saturday Night) & I gotta say, Sudbury, you need some better street signage. Also, Radisson Hotel, you too need better signage. It took us way too long to figure out where the hell our room was & another twenty minutes to find the pool. Plus, your Sleep Number Beds suck.

Next day we were on our way to Marathon with plenty o' pee stops along the way. We made it into town in time for the beach pizza party & got to meet the families & friends of the happy couple. I even dipped my hot tired feet in the apparently mercury laced water. mmmm mercury. (kiddin' - the mercury is on the other side of the bay.) Then it was off to meet more folks & start decorating. I felt pretty useless, but managed to cut up some tulle & chat with some really nice people while Calvin did his music thing.


Home grown sweet peas.

The ceremony was on a gorgeous beach in Pukaskwa & the everything was simply beautiful. I'm sure I could put this all more eloquently, but I just don't have the energy right now..... Let's just say it was a great time with lots of love, dancing & really good cake. Plus I snuck a lite beer. A whole one just for me. It was delicious. It was even medically sanctioned. Yay!


My beer belly is bigger than yours!

After a night of non-stop dancing & probably not enough water to drink, my feet got fat. You know when you flex your toes & can see the tendons running up to your ankles? I lost my tendons. No cankles yet for me, but I've never seen my feet so big before, even after hours & hours of dance classes. Mind you, I have abnormally teeny tiny skinny feet for someone of my height, so they probably just became normal size. Hey, maybe now I can buy shoes at Payless that won't fall off my feet. Serves me right for trying to dance all night, though I must say, I think I impressed everyone with my stamina.


my poor fat feet.

The drive home was again horribly long, but this time we stopped for a break at Lake Superior Provincial Park to check out the crazy surf at Old Woman Beach & then spent the night in Thessalon to rest our weary heads. Next day we managed to make it home with only 2 fights that involved tears & enough cussing to make a sailor blush. The dog went insane with giddiness & we then proceeded to sleep for about 13 hours straight. Good times.

I think we've now recovered from the weekend & have decided to take it easy until our trip next week for wedding number 3 of this year. My brain is not really working so well anymore & my body feels like its taken a beating. Must make another massage apointment. The last one was pretty good even though I didn't get the butt & hip massage I desperately need.

Midwife appointment today went well & we got to meet our other primary Josee. Super nice (as is almost everyone else there though front desk woman makes me feel like an dumbass everytime) & we chatted about breastfeeding & glucose testing. We decided to put off the GD testing indefinitely unless I suddenly started showing symptoms. Yay, no yucky orange drink for me! Blood pressure is still good (116 / 72) & bun's heartbeat ranges from 147 - 154. Didn't ask about the fundal height, but she didn't say anything after she measured it so I'm sure its all fine. Got poked about the belly to find out that the butt is up near my lungs & head is down. So all the heartburn pressure is due to an ass. Nice.

Thanks kid.

Belated Birthday wishes

to my dear dad. Sorry I couldn't post on the day, but access to my laptop was a little limited since dj Calvin was busy taking care of vital wedding music. Hope it was a lovely day. Love and kisses!


Dad hanging out with the chicks.

I'm tired

So tired I can't think of much to write about, but am feeling guilty for not posting. In other words, this is going to be boring.

Not much new work or house wise, though we are looking at buying a new couch for the basement & I did manage to weed some of the garden this morning before the sharp groin pains came on. My garden is a freaking mess of weeds, but at least its full & green. Anyone want some ornamental grass?

Since my belly dancing class is on hiatus for the month of August I've started going back to the gym again, taking a Body Flow (combo of yoga, tai chi & pilates with music) class 3 times a week on top of my regular pre-natal yoga on Saturdays. Its the only thing keeping my back from totally seizing up at the moment, but that may change tonight. I get to go for a free massage. That's right. Free. There is a RMT school close by that offers 4 free massages to 3rd trimester knocked-up chicks like me. Are you jealous? I'll let you know after tonight if you should be. It is a student massage after all (not that they're bad, I've had one before & it was fantastic!). I'm looking forward to it as preparation for sitting in a car for 6 or so hours tomorrow on our way to Marathon.

Our friends Christine & Kris are getting married this Saturday in Pukaskwa National Park. Its about a 14 hour drive from Ottawa so we're going to split it up by staying overnight in the Soo (audio warning: annoying virtual tourist guide) & drive the rest of the way on Friday morning. I figure the 14 hours will probably end up being 16 anyway, with all the peeing I've been doing lately so we might as well stop for the night somewhere along the way. It looks like the scenery will be worth the drive, plus the wedding should be a blast, so even though I'm already complaining about the drive we are soooo looking forward to this. We've even been offered a place to stay which is great, but I'm worried our hosts probably already think we're nuts. Calvin left a message that started off with "this is Calvin, of Calvin & Laura....". No mention of C & K or the wedding, just some cryptic message about staying with them & our names, like we're famous or something. Come on, everyone knows who Calvin & Laura TM are right? We're like Bennifer 2, only shorter & with less papparazzi. Ya, that's it. I just know we're not going to be able to live this one down.

Let's see..... what else. Still mildly freaking at the now less than 10 weeks (give or take whatever) 'till the bun pops out of the oven timeline. I know things will all fall into place & if they don't we'll just adapt, but its still kind of mind boggling & overwhelming at times (like when my brain starts racing at 2:30 am). Mostly its about where the hell we are going to put everything?! We keep purging our basement & closets of stuff, but it never seems to end.

I've been trying to figure out the bun's schedule since friends keep telling us that active time now should pretty much correlate to waking times afterwards. So far I've noticed an 8:30 - 9:00 am slot, a mid-afternoon & evening kick to the ribs or bladder session, possibly something in the middle of the night (maybe 2:30 / 3:00 am?) & the ever-so fun 5:00 am gymnastics routine. This is the one that wakes me up laughing because it is tickling so much, until of course it decides to nose dive into my pelvic floor. Thanks kid. I seem to be managing the lack of sleep thing now, so hopefully this will bode well for the future. Don't worry though, I'm under no illusions that I'll have it easy. The bun is related to Calvin afterall.

Speaking of the devil man, I just got off the phone with him & he is now deliriously happy that he managed to persuade me to get on the scale. I now weigh 1/2 a pound more than him (no, I'm not going to divulge the numbers) so he's all excited. All I have to say is watch it buddy or I'll kick your scrawny ass! Seems as though I've had a growth spurt over the last 2.5 weeks as I've gained about 5 pounds since last I checked. The weight gain thing is scary, but I'm right where I should be so no worries, though I do feel a little guilty for the McD's, ice cream & chocolate cravings. Interesting pregnancy weight gain facts: bun equals about 38% of my gain, placenta is about 9% & by the end of this my blood volume will have doubled (22%), my uterus (what a horrible sounding word) & boobs make up about 20% & amniotic fluid works out to be 11%. That's a hell of a lot of liquid, not to mention good old water retention. No wonder my belly jiggles like Homer when I shake it.

Toilet paper measurement is a definite 9.75 sheets, getting close to 10. I can feel things under my ribs now & my lungs feel like they are in my throat since my diaphragm has been pushed up about an inch & a half. This decreases lung capicity even though I'm taking in way more oxygen according to the books. Cetainly doesn't feel like more air - more like an anvil on my chest. Bun now weighs around 3 pounds ("loaf of bread" size) & is practicing breathing & getting fatter. Felt some hiccups last week - that was weird. Its now moving (as I type) like this guy a la "Elaine ripped me off" or "stir the pot, of love" & it freaks me out everytime. In a good way.

Anyway, time to go feed the little parasite & make the dog stop barking at the cupboard.

The Happy Birthdays continue....

to my adorable twin sisters Maggie & Heather. Hope you get lots of nice presents & cake & goodies. Unfortunately, you'll get nothing from me today because I suck at getting presents out on time, but hey, its not like you didn't expect me to break that family tradition anyway.


Here's all the blondies.
You guys were all so cute. What happened?

Just kiddin!

Calvin made it home in one piece, albeit covered in scrapes & bruises aplenty. Everything's back to normal & I'm not so bored anymore. Calvin won't be bored for long either.... he's got a "honeydo" list now that I'm making him tackle. We've been slacking off in the getting ready for the bun department, so its beginning to feel like we're running out of time. Its not like we can do much on the weekends now either since we've got 3 weddings in 3 different cities over the next 4 weeks. Should be tons of fun, but doesn't leave much time for getting things done around the house before I become as big as one.

That's all for now except to say that I've made it to 30 weeks & am beginning to freak out that there's only 10 more (+ or -) to go. I'm getting beat up inside regularly & I think I've been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions. Still can't get a proper night's sleep, back & hips are soooo sore, its getting harder & harder to breathe normally & this baby had better come out with hair like Rapunzel with all the heartburn I've been getting!

Another Happy Birthday!

Smooches to you to my oh so cute sista-in-law! Hope you have a great day & get some of that cold hard cash you were asking for.

If you don't get that, perhaps you can at least party like this again....


Woohoo!

4 more days

I'm exhausted, bored & fairly miserable. Who knew I'd miss the freakshow that is my hubby so much?

The quiet has not been peaceful. Just ask the dog.


A sign?

Good things at this point of pregnancy for me:

• popsicles
• homemade iced coffee
• Starbucks Passion iced tea lemonade
• being able to laugh like I'm drunk at the stupidest things
• yoga classes
• Royal Gala apples (my new fav - thanks Shannon!)
• the internets
• having a shower
• swimming
• watching the belly show

Crap things:

• "sleeping" (more like waking up every 1-2 hours)
• feeling like my tailbone is separating from my pelvis
• sore muscles, achy bones & all over uncomfortableness
• the internets
• eating habits (I really need more veggies, but really don't want them)
• house cleanliness (I just don't care)
• damn freaking hormones that make me cry for stupid reasons
• I can't breathe anymore
• I think the vitamins are making me nauseous again
• missing my buddy

I could go on, but I must get to work. At least that'll keep me occupied enough to prevent me from wallowing in my self-pity party.

P.S. Happy birthday Barbara! Hope you guys had a great dinner. Miss ya!

August has come upon me.

Saw the midwife today. All is good, but I forgot to ask a couple of questions of course. I get to go again in a couple of weeks though since I'm now officially in the third trimester so I'll ask then. Blood pressure great (120/70), bun's heartbeat in the 150's & I'm measuring 27cm fundal height. Though this is smaller than my week's number (28 + 4 or 5 days) she says its ok - as long as I'm within 2 cms. If anyone cares the toilet paper measurement is between 9.5 & 9.75 squares. So for all those who say I'm small.... I'm just right. Believe me, I feel huge (yes, I know it gets worse!). Maybe I won't have that 10 pounder after all.

Speaking of 10 pounders, Happy Birthday to my little sister Andrea. Sorry I called so close to midnight. Pregnancy brain melt down. You (she who gave the same book twice!) know all about that dontcha sis?


Happy birthday you lush!

When I was looking for the best picture of Anakalea I also came across one of the other 10 pounders, Emma. Everytime I look at this picture I crack up.


Lush's baby.

Can't stop laughing.......

My sweetie done left me...

for two lonely yet blissfully quiet weeks while he's off on his last hurrah with the mountain biking boys in Vancouver & Whistler. I was terribly sad when he left this morning, but after coming back home for a 4 hour nap I woke up to make some coffee & to find that he had left this.


Scotty's not here either.

Sorry Dave, its mine forever! Bwa ha ha ha. Some days I'm glad my dearest hubby is a bit absent-minded. I've loved this mug since your girlfriend gave it to me without you knowing. I'm sure Calvin will bring it out next time he comes. Ya, next time... that's it.

Joxer found a new girlfriend yesterday. He liked her a lot. She liked him too. It was a mutual love fest that probably had something to do with the fact that she was in heat & running around like the loose wanton bitch that she is. Though we tried our best to shake her off our trail, she followed us home & attempted to come inside. Since she was wearing dog tags we called the city so they could get in touch with the owners. Turns out the tag she had on was for a deceased dog (?!?) so they decided to come pick her up. We hung out on the step with her for about an hour & turns out she's probably the sweetest dog ever, though a bit shy. If the owners don't claim her, I think we might have to go get her from the pound & give Joxer the permanent live-in girlfriend he may or may not desire. Ain't she purty?


Pretty girl.

Last weekend we drove down to Peterborough for a little family reunion hosted by uncle Scott & Shannon. It was really wonderful to see all the kinfolk again & we totally appreciate all the work that went into this & for putting up with an extremely hyperactive Calvin. Loved the boat rides, the wading, the kids, the bacon, seeing Ruth going through the screen door & the shoe shopping expedition. Thanks so much for doing this & we'll definitely be there next year with the bun out of the oven. Hopefully the rest of the family can make it too.

I've been trying out a couple of photo album things to put on-line with pictures from the weekend. I pretty much suck so if I didn't e-mail you a link I'm afraid all the rest of you get to look at is one of Calvin being fascinated by a bubble gun.


Bubble boy.

So looks like I've made it to the 3rd trimester (the uncomfortable one). The Babyfit website tells me that the bun should be about 2.5 pounds & almost 16" long (head to toe), but then also says: "The baby's length is about the same as an ear of corn." I've personally never seen a 16" ear of corn & I come from prairie-land where the crops & the sky are big. Real big. Must be mutant monster corn.

I'm feeling pretty good though sleeping through an entire night is impossible, even with 6 pillows strategically placed for maximum comfort. I'm craving beer (thank you President's Choice fakie stuff!) & the heartburn is still driving me crazy plus I think I had the first horrible hint of burning boob syndrome (note the 5th paragraph down) for a day or so last week. Ai yi yi that was seriously nasty, but nothing a little Canesten & some Gold Bond powder couldn't repair. We'll see what the midwife says about it this week.

I know its crazy, but I'm innocently presuming (so I'm in denial - there's nothing negative you can say to me that I won't block out with my oh so powerful mind) that all the combinations of burning, searing, stabbing, shooting & oh so aching pains that I've managed to put up with over the years might actually put me in the right frame of mind to deal with a drug-free labour. That and stubborness. I'm going with this frame of mind until proven otherwise... kind of like the "fact" that I'll never get a mini-van. All practicalities aside, no one can convince me that we just have to get one because we've got a munchkin on the way. Nope. I don't care that it can transport all your smelly bike crap & the baby stuff & comes equipped with a dvd player. La la la I'm not listening.

Speaking of baby stuff, we keep getting more & more loaners & hand-me-downs from family & friends. Its great! Who knew there was gonna be so many benefits from procrastinating as long as we did to removing the goalie?! I seriously don't know how we're going to repay all these lovely people for all the goodies, but a major thank you goes out to all of you wonderful givers of stuff (I'm still not taking your mini-van advice though!). Now I just have to find a place to put it all.

Anyway, time for lunch (mmmm leftover curry) so I'll leave you with a picture from early this morning before we left for the airport. I look super impressed dontcha think?


6am belly.

Things I Seen

Just some things I saw yesterday that were, um... interesting. Depending on your interests or eyes, you may or may not agree with me.

1. Two bluejays fighting.
2. Beady squirrel eyes boring a hole in my head not 2 feet from me.
3. A friend's child being so terrified by my husband's evil facial expressions that she lost complete control of her legs. I think this bodes well for the future.
4. An almost completely empty Zellers at about 8:30 am. It was awesome & peaceful. Who knew shopping could be like this?
5. A sporty red Honda going about 120 km an hour down Merivale Road applying its brakes really hard & only coming to a stop about half a block later as it plowed into some poor guy's Pontiac. This was followed by us running to the scene to help get the Pontiac guy out of his car (he wanted to walk), someone else calling 911, checking out the guy's scrapes & bruises, calling the Honda driver's work for him beacuse he couldn't remember the number (had a bit of trouble with his name too), talking to fellow witnesses, giving statements to the policeman & taking a look at the damage done to both totalled cars. Then there was the odour of car fluids intermingling with the burnt rubber & pavement in the heat of the morning. I guess this is what cars smell like when they die. What a stinkin' mess.
6. Some asshole in my rearview mirror tailgaiting me as I drove home (probably over the speed limit). He was in a sporty red Honda as well.
7. Internet news story about more bombings on the Tube. Depressing. (Can't watch the news on TV anymore because since I got knocked up, everything has become too graphic. I have trouble watching some of my favorites now, like CSI & Law & Order. Trauma: Life in the ER.... well that one is definitely out the window now too.)
8. Special password to get early tickets for Sigur Ros. Yay! They are playing at the Bronson Centre on September 18th. I've neer even heard of this place before, but it looks like a nice intimate venue for atmospheric-type music.
9. Elderly gentleman at the pool who had bigger boobs than me (trust Calvin... I've got quite the rack now!) - I thought it was some daring older naked lady at first. Crazy, annoying humming lady was there too, which just topped off my annoyance level, since I'd already forgotten my swim cap, goggles & flip-flops. Plus, everytime I swam about 100 metres I had to stop so I could catch my breath again & stretch out my lower belly from the knife-like round ligament pain that sneaks up on me when I sneeze, turn around in bed or bend over to weed the garden. Fun times. Glad I spent the $3.85 to go, when I could have got the same workout in the pool in my backyard. I was looking forward to getting a treat from the vending machine too, but that of course, was broken & filled with pennies.
10. Some big belly kicks from the bun after taking a well-deserved nap in the middle of the day. (Get up lazy mum!)
11. Beautiful footage of Korea on Lonely Planet / Pilot Guides. Now on my list of places to go before I kick the bucket.
12. Cutie-putootie Alexandre Despatie kick some major diving ass at the World Aquatic Championships. Can those guys ever spin fast! Note to his mother... loose the bandana... its not a good look.
13. A rider in the Tour taking a wizz at the side of the road while still pedalling. No mention or inside joke from Phil or Paul. Am I the only one who saw this? I mean I've seen it before, but usually they accompany it with some witty comment about a nature break. At least they saw the streaker at the top of one of the Cols. He at least got some mention about the heat getting to the fans.
14. At least a dozen of the same commercials over & over again (since sucky boy wouldn't let me change the channel) on OLN. They really are in desperate need of some new sponsers, though we did notice a couple of new ones now that there are 3 days left to the Tour de France. Seriously OLN Canada, enough of the agonizingly irritating "Take me Boating" (that kid needs to shut the hell up) , the "low impacht" girl reading poorly off the cue cards or 41-year old volleyball guy ending up with blonde 20 year old in those stupid Bowflex cross-trainer ads, the Keg commercial that we think is going to be Red Lobster everytime (I have to avert my eyes lest the cockroaches of the sea burn out my retinas) & new this year, the hair dye for your roots one where the girl is so dumb, she is shocked (I mean SHOCKED!) that her roots are showing. Ya, that's what happens... hair grows dumbass.

So that about sums up my day.

Party time

It's been a pretty insane couple of weeks work wise so I haven't had much time for updates, catching up on e-mail or laundry. So now I shall treat you with a shot of my red velvet hanging around the house pants (plus belly).


26 Weeks

Getting bigger n'est pas? I swear I'm not sticking out my butt. I think my tailbone has now permantly detached from my glutes & I've got some weird sway back thing going on. So much for that good dance posture I once had. At least my belly button looks like it won't be popping - ever. It kind of looks like a donut, all swollen around some deep treacherous cavern.

The bun is now visibly sucker punching me so much that even Calvin has finally got the chance to witness the belly move on its own. What a totally surreal experience & everyone keeps telling us it only gets weirder. Great.... Bun is apparently now about 2 pounds, can open & close its eyes, is making breathing movements & can respond to sound outside the belly. I think it likes Eminem & Bach the best so far.

Other stuff besides mastering the bun....
Last weekend we had a street party. Calvin & our neighbours organized the whole thing, taking care of stuff like blocking off the street, handing out flyers & cooking up the hamburgers. Turned out to be a great success & the weather held out for the entire day, though the forecast was for rain. It was a great chance to actually meet all the people down the street as opposed to just saying hi as we walk the dog.

One of the highlights of the day was our friend Crazy Brad & his Balloons. Now freed from the confines of high tech he's become a very successful balloon tying dude so we managed to wrangle him down for some kids' entertainment. Octupuses, Spiderman, SpongeBob, Dora & a cute little horse all came out to play. If you ever need a balloon guy for a birthday party (or as I found out today, bachelor party), just let us know - he's great!


Balloon man


Silly Hari

We also had a pool party the following day with the biking crowd. Another load of fun, complete with way too much food, heat, sunburn & beer. Gotta say the pool feels great, even though I can barely lift my wide load out of it now. I would so love a ladder right about now. Oh well.

After a hectic week of work, this weekend was full of Tooor dez Franz & shopping. We even registered for a couple of things that caught our greedy eyes. We'll fill you in later when we get more organized. We are so addicted to watching the Tour, I feel like I'm having withdrawal symptoms when they have a rest day. Though I'm sure Lance will win again for his final Tour & I'll be happy about it, I can hardly wait for next year to see what happens when he's not there. Hopefully my favorites will pull something special out of their muscly butts. Who am I stalking you ask? Well there's Vino, Thor & Magnus. Not sure if it is just the names I love so much or the ever-so-sexy biking tans (sorry stranger.. couldn't pass it up) combined with pasty white skin. Calvin & a couple of his buddies have some mighty fine ones happening right now so I guess I should consider myself lucky that I get to gaze upon these fine specimens of outdoor cycling enthusiasts in my own backyard. Yah... so lucky.....

Canada Day & other escapades

So we went to Stowe, Vermont this past long weekend to celebrate the glory that is our nation's birthday. I always love going down there to the land of Saabs, Ben & Jerry's, pretty scenery & our favorite camping spot. Calvin & I got to celebrate our anniversary on the drive down at the Bears' Den thanks to Trask & his wonderful surprise of a huge slice of blueberry pie complete with the biggest candle ever stuffed in the middle of it. We're talking the fat IKEA type that you use when the power goes out kind of candle, not some wimpy-assesd birthday candle!

The weekend was full of fun & sun (& a little bit of rain & vomiting). The boys had their rides in & there was plenty of beer, cider donuts & yummy fudge. There was no swimming since the Reservoir was down & hiking was out for me since I got winded just walking uphill to go to the loo. Seriously pathetic. Then there was the heartburn from hell. There was no way those delicious yet useless papaya extract pills were gonna do it this time. Sometimes only the lifesaver that I call Zantac will do. Oh did I mention the allergies? Those kicked in big time by Saturday. I needed an eye patch to cover up the oozing mess that was my right eye. Between the burning of my eyes, sinus cavities & esophagus I was begging for a cool soothing bath of milk. Too bad I'm lactose intolerant eh? Note to the allergist who said I wasn't allergic to anything. You suck moron!

Also, since I'm on a rant, I'd like to seriously complain about this fucking bridge from hell. Every time we cross it gets worse. Nothing like having my irrational fear (total phobia) of careening out of control on a bridge in a car & going over the edge, only to be trapped under water in said car & drowning, be highlighted by: a) the imposing height of this suspension bridge, b) the horrible paving & patching job that throws your car all over the road, c) the obvious need for a paint job that can be seen in the rusting bolts that hold this shitty bridge together or d) the total lack of safety rails at what I would consider a sufficient height to protect fear-infested occupants of cars like myself to feel nominally secure. Did I mention it has a toll booth? Here's the mission statement & a few facts about the number of vehicles crossing this evil bridge. My calculator tells me that minimally these tolls make $ 7 475 000 a year. That's over 7 million. A year. Minimum. Bastards can't keep the pavement smooth? Ya I know.... I'm sure it is actually safe, engineered, tested, maintained, whatever, but my emotional well-being suffers every time we cross to the point of me now having a full-blown panic attack. Thankfully no one else is in the car to witness my hysteria, but now that you all know (all 2 of you that read this) my secret fear, please be nice to me when I'm in your car going over a bridge.

OK I'm done with that. I blame the old waterfall incident.

Once we got home, we picked Joxer up from his new girlfriend's place. I think he's depressed today. Or maybe just tired from the apparent barking he's done all weekend. He's got that hoarse bark that comes from being a pain in the ass. Ungrateful doggie. Thank you so much to the lovely people who put up with him all weekend. I have this nagging feeling it wasn't all it was cracked up to be! Now he's doing this:


Depressed doggie.

Oh ya. I'm now 24 weeks & apparently "Your baby is about the same size as the width of a standard size sheet of paper!" So I'm having a new super kind of 2-dimensional baby then?! Wow are we ever excited! Maybe it'll have super powers too. It can already dance pretty good & now has achieved the dubious milestone of being able to find my bladder & press on it really hard. It also operates in stealth mode. It only moves when I'm by myself. The moment I call the hubby to witness the bizarreness that happens when it decides to punch or kick at the outside world in it's private baby angst, it stops. Sorry honey, maybe next time.