Monday, July 04, 2005

Canada Day & other escapades

So we went to Stowe, Vermont this past long weekend to celebrate the glory that is our nation's birthday. I always love going down there to the land of Saabs, Ben & Jerry's, pretty scenery & our favorite camping spot. Calvin & I got to celebrate our anniversary on the drive down at the Bears' Den thanks to Trask & his wonderful surprise of a huge slice of blueberry pie complete with the biggest candle ever stuffed in the middle of it. We're talking the fat IKEA type that you use when the power goes out kind of candle, not some wimpy-assesd birthday candle!

The weekend was full of fun & sun (& a little bit of rain & vomiting). The boys had their rides in & there was plenty of beer, cider donuts & yummy fudge. There was no swimming since the Reservoir was down & hiking was out for me since I got winded just walking uphill to go to the loo. Seriously pathetic. Then there was the heartburn from hell. There was no way those delicious yet useless papaya extract pills were gonna do it this time. Sometimes only the lifesaver that I call Zantac will do. Oh did I mention the allergies? Those kicked in big time by Saturday. I needed an eye patch to cover up the oozing mess that was my right eye. Between the burning of my eyes, sinus cavities & esophagus I was begging for a cool soothing bath of milk. Too bad I'm lactose intolerant eh? Note to the allergist who said I wasn't allergic to anything. You suck moron!

Also, since I'm on a rant, I'd like to seriously complain about this fucking bridge from hell. Every time we cross it gets worse. Nothing like having my irrational fear (total phobia) of careening out of control on a bridge in a car & going over the edge, only to be trapped under water in said car & drowning, be highlighted by: a) the imposing height of this suspension bridge, b) the horrible paving & patching job that throws your car all over the road, c) the obvious need for a paint job that can be seen in the rusting bolts that hold this shitty bridge together or d) the total lack of safety rails at what I would consider a sufficient height to protect fear-infested occupants of cars like myself to feel nominally secure. Did I mention it has a toll booth? Here's the mission statement & a few facts about the number of vehicles crossing this evil bridge. My calculator tells me that minimally these tolls make $ 7 475 000 a year. That's over 7 million. A year. Minimum. Bastards can't keep the pavement smooth? Ya I know.... I'm sure it is actually safe, engineered, tested, maintained, whatever, but my emotional well-being suffers every time we cross to the point of me now having a full-blown panic attack. Thankfully no one else is in the car to witness my hysteria, but now that you all know (all 2 of you that read this) my secret fear, please be nice to me when I'm in your car going over a bridge.

OK I'm done with that. I blame the old waterfall incident.

Once we got home, we picked Joxer up from his new girlfriend's place. I think he's depressed today. Or maybe just tired from the apparent barking he's done all weekend. He's got that hoarse bark that comes from being a pain in the ass. Ungrateful doggie. Thank you so much to the lovely people who put up with him all weekend. I have this nagging feeling it wasn't all it was cracked up to be! Now he's doing this:

Depressed doggie. Posted by Picasa

Oh ya. I'm now 24 weeks & apparently "Your baby is about the same size as the width of a standard size sheet of paper!" So I'm having a new super kind of 2-dimensional baby then?! Wow are we ever excited! Maybe it'll have super powers too. It can already dance pretty good & now has achieved the dubious milestone of being able to find my bladder & press on it really hard. It also operates in stealth mode. It only moves when I'm by myself. The moment I call the hubby to witness the bizarreness that happens when it decides to punch or kick at the outside world in it's private baby angst, it stops. Sorry honey, maybe next time.

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