Sunday, July 31, 2005

My sweetie done left me...

for two lonely yet blissfully quiet weeks while he's off on his last hurrah with the mountain biking boys in Vancouver & Whistler. I was terribly sad when he left this morning, but after coming back home for a 4 hour nap I woke up to make some coffee & to find that he had left this.

Scotty's not here either.

Sorry Dave, its mine forever! Bwa ha ha ha. Some days I'm glad my dearest hubby is a bit absent-minded. I've loved this mug since your girlfriend gave it to me without you knowing. I'm sure Calvin will bring it out next time he comes. Ya, next time... that's it.

Joxer found a new girlfriend yesterday. He liked her a lot. She liked him too. It was a mutual love fest that probably had something to do with the fact that she was in heat & running around like the loose wanton bitch that she is. Though we tried our best to shake her off our trail, she followed us home & attempted to come inside. Since she was wearing dog tags we called the city so they could get in touch with the owners. Turns out the tag she had on was for a deceased dog (?!?) so they decided to come pick her up. We hung out on the step with her for about an hour & turns out she's probably the sweetest dog ever, though a bit shy. If the owners don't claim her, I think we might have to go get her from the pound & give Joxer the permanent live-in girlfriend he may or may not desire. Ain't she purty?

Pretty girl.

Last weekend we drove down to Peterborough for a little family reunion hosted by uncle Scott & Shannon. It was really wonderful to see all the kinfolk again & we totally appreciate all the work that went into this & for putting up with an extremely hyperactive Calvin. Loved the boat rides, the wading, the kids, the bacon, seeing Ruth going through the screen door & the shoe shopping expedition. Thanks so much for doing this & we'll definitely be there next year with the bun out of the oven. Hopefully the rest of the family can make it too.

I've been trying out a couple of photo album things to put on-line with pictures from the weekend. I pretty much suck so if I didn't e-mail you a link I'm afraid all the rest of you get to look at is one of Calvin being fascinated by a bubble gun.

Bubble boy.

So looks like I've made it to the 3rd trimester (the uncomfortable one). The Babyfit website tells me that the bun should be about 2.5 pounds & almost 16" long (head to toe), but then also says: "The baby's length is about the same as an ear of corn." I've personally never seen a 16" ear of corn & I come from prairie-land where the crops & the sky are big. Real big. Must be mutant monster corn.

I'm feeling pretty good though sleeping through an entire night is impossible, even with 6 pillows strategically placed for maximum comfort. I'm craving beer (thank you President's Choice fakie stuff!) & the heartburn is still driving me crazy plus I think I had the first horrible hint of burning boob syndrome (note the 5th paragraph down) for a day or so last week. Ai yi yi that was seriously nasty, but nothing a little Canesten & some Gold Bond powder couldn't repair. We'll see what the midwife says about it this week.

I know its crazy, but I'm innocently presuming (so I'm in denial - there's nothing negative you can say to me that I won't block out with my oh so powerful mind) that all the combinations of burning, searing, stabbing, shooting & oh so aching pains that I've managed to put up with over the years might actually put me in the right frame of mind to deal with a drug-free labour. That and stubborness. I'm going with this frame of mind until proven otherwise... kind of like the "fact" that I'll never get a mini-van. All practicalities aside, no one can convince me that we just have to get one because we've got a munchkin on the way. Nope. I don't care that it can transport all your smelly bike crap & the baby stuff & comes equipped with a dvd player. La la la I'm not listening.

Speaking of baby stuff, we keep getting more & more loaners & hand-me-downs from family & friends. Its great! Who knew there was gonna be so many benefits from procrastinating as long as we did to removing the goalie?! I seriously don't know how we're going to repay all these lovely people for all the goodies, but a major thank you goes out to all of you wonderful givers of stuff (I'm still not taking your mini-van advice though!). Now I just have to find a place to put it all.

Anyway, time for lunch (mmmm leftover curry) so I'll leave you with a picture from early this morning before we left for the airport. I look super impressed dontcha think?

6am belly. Posted by Picasa

Friday, July 22, 2005

Things I Seen

Just some things I saw yesterday that were, um... interesting. Depending on your interests or eyes, you may or may not agree with me.
  1. Two bluejays fighting.
  2. Beady squirrel eyes boring a hole in my head not 2 feet from me.
  3. A friend's child being so terrified by my husband's evil facial expressions that she lost complete control of her legs. I think this bodes well for the future.
  4. An almost completely empty Zellers at about 8:30 am. It was awesome & peaceful. Who knew shopping could be like this?
  5. A sporty red Honda going about 120 km an hour down Merivale Road applying its brakes really hard & only coming to a stop about half a block later as it plowed into some poor guy's Pontiac. This was followed by us running to the scene to help get the Pontiac guy out of his car (he wanted to walk), someone else calling 911, checking out the guy's scrapes & bruises, calling the Honda driver's work for him beacuse he couldn't remember the number (had a bit of trouble with his name too), talking to fellow witnesses, giving statements to the policeman & taking a look at the damage done to both totalled cars. Then there was the odour of car fluids intermingling with the burnt rubber & pavement in the heat of the morning. I guess this is what cars smell like when they die. What a stinkin' mess.
  6. Some asshole in my rearview mirror tailgaiting me as I drove home (probably over the speed limit). He was in a sporty red Honda as well.
  7. Internet news story about more bombings on the Tube. Depressing. (Can't watch the news on TV anymore because since I got knocked up, everything has become too graphic. I have trouble watching some of my favorites now, like CSI & Law & Order. Trauma: Life in the ER.... well that one is definitely out the window now too.)
  8. Special password to get early tickets for Sigur Ros. Yay! They are playing at the Bronson Centre on September 18th. I've neer even heard of this place before, but it looks like a nice intimate venue for atmospheric-type music.
  9. Elderly gentleman at the pool who had bigger boobs than me (trust Calvin... I've got quite the rack now!) - I thought it was some daring older naked lady at first. Crazy, annoying humming lady was there too, which just topped off my annoyance level, since I'd already forgotten my swim cap, goggles & flip-flops. Plus, everytime I swam about 100 metres I had to stop so I could catch my breath again & stretch out my lower belly from the knife-like round ligament pain that sneaks up on me when I sneeze, turn around in bed or bend over to weed the garden. Fun times. Glad I spent the $3.85 to go, when I could have got the same workout in the pool in my backyard. I was looking forward to getting a treat from the vending machine too, but that of course, was broken & filled with pennies.
  10. Some big belly kicks from the bun after taking a well-deserved nap in the middle of the day. (Get up lazy mum!)
  11. Beautiful footage of Korea on Lonely Planet / Pilot Guides. Now on my list of places to go before I kick the bucket.
  12. Cutie-putootie Alexandre Despatie kick some major diving ass at the World Aquatic Championships. Can those guys ever spin fast! Note to his mother... loose the bandana... its not a good look.
  13. A rider in the Tour taking a wizz at the side of the road while still pedalling. No mention or inside joke from Phil or Paul. Am I the only one who saw this? I mean I've seen it before, but usually they accompany it with some witty comment about a nature break. At least they saw the streaker at the top of one of the Cols. He at least got some mention about the heat getting to the fans.
  14. At least a dozen of the same commercials over & over again (since sucky boy wouldn't let me change the channel) on OLN. They really are in desperate need of some new sponsers, though we did notice a couple of new ones now that there are 3 days left to the Tour de France. Seriously OLN Canada, enough of the agonizingly irritating "Take me Boating" (that kid needs to shut the hell up) , the "low impacht" girl reading poorly off the cue cards or 41-year old volleyball guy ending up with blonde 20 year old in those stupid Bowflex cross-trainer ads, the Keg commercial that we think is going to be Red Lobster everytime (I have to avert my eyes lest the cockroaches of the sea burn out my retinas) & new this year, the hair dye for your roots one where the girl is so dumb, she is shocked (I mean SHOCKED!) that her roots are showing. Ya, that's what happens... hair grows dumbass.

So that about sums up my day.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Party time

It's been a pretty insane couple of weeks work wise so I haven't had much time for updates, catching up on e-mail or laundry. So now I shall treat you with a shot of my red velvet hanging around the house pants (plus belly).

26 Weeks

Getting bigger n'est pas? I swear I'm not sticking out my butt. I think my tailbone has now permantly detached from my glutes & I've got some weird sway back thing going on. So much for that good dance posture I once had. At least my belly button looks like it won't be popping - ever. It kind of looks like a donut, all swollen around some deep treacherous cavern.

The bun is now visibly sucker punching me so much that even Calvin has finally got the chance to witness the belly move on its own. What a totally surreal experience & everyone keeps telling us it only gets weirder. Great.... Bun is apparently now about 2 pounds, can open & close its eyes, is making breathing movements & can respond to sound outside the belly. I think it likes Eminem & Bach the best so far.

Other stuff besides mastering the bun....
Last weekend we had a street party. Calvin & our neighbours organized the whole thing, taking care of stuff like blocking off the street, handing out flyers & cooking up the hamburgers. Turned out to be a great success & the weather held out for the entire day, though the forecast was for rain. It was a great chance to actually meet all the people down the street as opposed to just saying hi as we walk the dog.

One of the highlights of the day was our friend Crazy Brad & his Balloons. Now freed from the confines of high tech he's become a very successful balloon tying dude so we managed to wrangle him down for some kids' entertainment. Octupuses, Spiderman, SpongeBob, Dora & a cute little horse all came out to play. If you ever need a balloon guy for a birthday party (or as I found out today, bachelor party), just let us know - he's great!

Balloon man

Silly Hari Posted by Picasa

We also had a pool party the following day with the biking crowd. Another load of fun, complete with way too much food, heat, sunburn & beer. Gotta say the pool feels great, even though I can barely lift my wide load out of it now. I would so love a ladder right about now. Oh well.

After a hectic week of work, this weekend was full of Tooor dez Franz & shopping. We even registered for a couple of things that caught our greedy eyes. We'll fill you in later when we get more organized. We are so addicted to watching the Tour, I feel like I'm having withdrawal symptoms when they have a rest day. Though I'm sure Lance will win again for his final Tour & I'll be happy about it, I can hardly wait for next year to see what happens when he's not there. Hopefully my favorites will pull something special out of their muscly butts. Who am I stalking you ask? Well there's Vino, Thor & Magnus. Not sure if it is just the names I love so much or the ever-so-sexy biking tans (sorry stranger.. couldn't pass it up) combined with pasty white skin. Calvin & a couple of his buddies have some mighty fine ones happening right now so I guess I should consider myself lucky that I get to gaze upon these fine specimens of outdoor cycling enthusiasts in my own backyard. Yah... so lucky.....

Monday, July 04, 2005

Canada Day & other escapades

So we went to Stowe, Vermont this past long weekend to celebrate the glory that is our nation's birthday. I always love going down there to the land of Saabs, Ben & Jerry's, pretty scenery & our favorite camping spot. Calvin & I got to celebrate our anniversary on the drive down at the Bears' Den thanks to Trask & his wonderful surprise of a huge slice of blueberry pie complete with the biggest candle ever stuffed in the middle of it. We're talking the fat IKEA type that you use when the power goes out kind of candle, not some wimpy-assesd birthday candle!

The weekend was full of fun & sun (& a little bit of rain & vomiting). The boys had their rides in & there was plenty of beer, cider donuts & yummy fudge. There was no swimming since the Reservoir was down & hiking was out for me since I got winded just walking uphill to go to the loo. Seriously pathetic. Then there was the heartburn from hell. There was no way those delicious yet useless papaya extract pills were gonna do it this time. Sometimes only the lifesaver that I call Zantac will do. Oh did I mention the allergies? Those kicked in big time by Saturday. I needed an eye patch to cover up the oozing mess that was my right eye. Between the burning of my eyes, sinus cavities & esophagus I was begging for a cool soothing bath of milk. Too bad I'm lactose intolerant eh? Note to the allergist who said I wasn't allergic to anything. You suck moron!

Also, since I'm on a rant, I'd like to seriously complain about this fucking bridge from hell. Every time we cross it gets worse. Nothing like having my irrational fear (total phobia) of careening out of control on a bridge in a car & going over the edge, only to be trapped under water in said car & drowning, be highlighted by: a) the imposing height of this suspension bridge, b) the horrible paving & patching job that throws your car all over the road, c) the obvious need for a paint job that can be seen in the rusting bolts that hold this shitty bridge together or d) the total lack of safety rails at what I would consider a sufficient height to protect fear-infested occupants of cars like myself to feel nominally secure. Did I mention it has a toll booth? Here's the mission statement & a few facts about the number of vehicles crossing this evil bridge. My calculator tells me that minimally these tolls make $ 7 475 000 a year. That's over 7 million. A year. Minimum. Bastards can't keep the pavement smooth? Ya I know.... I'm sure it is actually safe, engineered, tested, maintained, whatever, but my emotional well-being suffers every time we cross to the point of me now having a full-blown panic attack. Thankfully no one else is in the car to witness my hysteria, but now that you all know (all 2 of you that read this) my secret fear, please be nice to me when I'm in your car going over a bridge.

OK I'm done with that. I blame the old waterfall incident.

Once we got home, we picked Joxer up from his new girlfriend's place. I think he's depressed today. Or maybe just tired from the apparent barking he's done all weekend. He's got that hoarse bark that comes from being a pain in the ass. Ungrateful doggie. Thank you so much to the lovely people who put up with him all weekend. I have this nagging feeling it wasn't all it was cracked up to be! Now he's doing this:

Depressed doggie. Posted by Picasa

Oh ya. I'm now 24 weeks & apparently "Your baby is about the same size as the width of a standard size sheet of paper!" So I'm having a new super kind of 2-dimensional baby then?! Wow are we ever excited! Maybe it'll have super powers too. It can already dance pretty good & now has achieved the dubious milestone of being able to find my bladder & press on it really hard. It also operates in stealth mode. It only moves when I'm by myself. The moment I call the hubby to witness the bizarreness that happens when it decides to punch or kick at the outside world in it's private baby angst, it stops. Sorry honey, maybe next time.