Monday, June 05, 2006

Tramampoline! Trambopoline!

In grade eight I became champion in the trampoline war that was gym class. And I almost got my ass kicked for it.


I was always more of a geek than an athlete in school so I would get teased for being a bookworm or smarty-pants & almost always got picked last in gym class. Even though I knew it was coming it was always hurtful. There’s a certain sense of shame that goes along with this that you just aren’t good enough & when you believe it I think it just becomes this perpetual cycle of sucking. If you think you can’t hit that stupid t-ball you probably won’t. Don’t think you can play floor hockey because the boys hog the puck/ball then you most likely won’t take a chance to score a goal. Trust that the volleyball is going to hurt your wrists when some athletic classmate spikes the ball in your direction & it’s gonna smart like a bitch. So you end up standing back being utterly useless & fulfilling the presumption that you are not worthy of ever being picked first.

The gym teachers I had never tried to make a difference either. Just like in the movies there was the requisite butch lesbian who made us play golf & floor hockey, dodgeball & climb the dreaded ropes. There was the super hefty jock who made us run in circles & then play that evil volleyball game where the boys thought the goal was to hit the ball at any girl as hard as they could. Sometimes our geography teacher would come in make us do calisthenics until we all wanted to puke. Those were the worst days as he was a real masochist with a very quick temper. Once he threw a desk at this sweet kid named Aaron just because he passed a note in class. Anyway needless to say they weren’t the most supportive mentors to pathetic weakling students like me.

It also didn’t help that most of the kids in my new junior high had been together since kindergarten so they had their cliques & friends firmly established. It was like trying to break into a bank with a heavy security detail. The only way I found any sense of cool was being friends with the other new girl in school who had the most perfectly feathered hair, great clothes & pretty eyes that all the boys like. Plus she had a big sister who could kick all kinds of ass if she wanted to & she smoked so that made her ultra-cool. Turns out my new best friend was pretty good in gym class too so that gave me a little protection & with that a little more confidence. This I turned into a few decent performances such as running in those stupid circles. Seems I wasn’t the fastest runner but stamina I had plenty of & ended up running more laps than anyone else. I also lasted one of the longest in the first Jump Rope for Heart contest things in the school. So I was finally good at something other than reading & it felt pretty good. It didn’t make me any higher up the echelon in the picking order but it didn’t make me any enemies either.

That is until I found what I was really, really good at in gym class.

The trampoline was something everyone looked forward to all year long. We didn’t learn anything too fancy on it though some of the boys tried to do back flips when the teacher wasn’t directly looking at them. What we did on it was play a game. A game called Competition. Two people at opposite corners would jump three times then sit on their butt & then get up to jump again. It went on like this until someone couldn’t get up again. So it was 3 jumps – seat-drop - jump - seat-drop - jump - seat-drop, etc. like getting up from a chair & sitting back down repeatedly. Sounds silly & simple but there was an art to this game & it was in the timing. And the stare down. I perfected both & started demolishing my opponents. I’d give them the eye from my corner & then somehow with my super rhythm I’d get them off balance so they could not get up again no matter how hard they tried.

This was the best gym performance of my life & even the teachers were a little surprised that this nerdy scrawny little kid was kicking some major butt. So were the cool athletic girls who were my only real competition. I think there were about 5 of them & they were pissed that I was going to take the title away from their leader Mona. She was the only one that came close to beating me & our competition lasted for almost an entire gym class. I ended up winning but in doing so I was suddenly at the top of the cool girls list of people they wanted to beat up. I was terrified. Nowadays the stuff they did to me would qualify as bullying & might get them in shit but back then it was every kid for themselves. The only protection I had was in sticking close to my best friend & at the front of the class where I had several heads between them & myself to deflect the spitballs.

For some reason we traveled to another school for our home-ec / shops classes. They’d taunt me on the bus saying they would beat the crap out of me after school or at recess. In baking class I was put into a group with two of them & we were actually buddies until the trampoline incident. After that they made me absolutely miserable so I would try to help my friend’s group instead. The teacher would always make me go back to my own kitchen area with Maria & Angela where they wouldn’t let me do anything to help like add ingredients or even stir the bowl. All I got to do was wash the dishes & then to top it all off, they wouldn’t set a place for me at our table where we were supposed to partake of our delightful banana muffins, triticale honey bread or scrumptious yet healthy date squares. One time they all cornered me in the girl’s bathroom & I thought I was a goner but all they did was threaten me some more & pull my hair.

I think it finally escalated at recess one day when we were playing in the snow outside. Somehow they got me up against the fence & started yelling at me, calling me all kinds of names I’d never heard before & shoving my face into the snow. I was soaking wet & cold by the end of it but they never actually beat me up. All these threats they didn’t make good on. I finally knew they were as chicken as I was – they just had strength in numbers & even with that they still weren’t as tough as I thought they were. I told my best friend what happened when we went to band class & I think she told her sister. Who knows, maybe she threatened them or maybe they decided I wasn’t worth the effort. In any case they dropped most of the bullying after that, though I still had to deal with dirty looks. Then I got mono & when I came back to school I had my saving grace in the form of a sick note from the doctor that excused me from gym class for the rest of the year.

At least trampoline season was over & I went out on top like a champ.


Obviously I've missed a couple of my scheduled Monday Morning Memories but one of them was a holiday & the other, well I don't remember what happened. So this is me catching up, making amends so to speak. I know it's not morning once again so perhaps I should drop that from the moniker but I still like the way it sounds & there's nothing like a little guilty prodding to make me think I'll get in in before noon the next time.

6 comments:

tlmackinnon said...

The only thing meaner than a kid is an unfed baby (eek)...they really are horrible. As a fellow target, I sympathize. Fortunately, all the ditch-pigs who previously tortured me are now fat, bitter, divorced cows still stuck in a small town with mullets, bacne, and lots screaming rotten kids of their own :-)

bunmaster said...

Exactly my early mornin' rising friend. Bacne & mullets & a rotten smokers'cough is a sweet revenge.

By the way I am getting super excited to come see you & your rugrats. I think I'll skip the stroller but will bring our other car seat since I will be hanging out with my sister afterwards. Yay!

Heather said...

Wow Laura...I had no idea about what you went through in junior high. Why didn't you ever tell us? Maggie and I were bullied a bit too at "Laura Secord", but we always had each other. Wish I could have been there to stick up for my big sis. You're a SUPERSTAR!

bunmaster said...

Funny, when I was writing this post I thought it would come across as more of a funny little tidbit about how I was such an awesome trampoline-ist. Weird how it turned out to be more about the bullying.

Thanks for wanting to stick up for me little sister - you guys rock!

Anonymous said...

[p]Lampwork European beads are unique, lovely, various and colorful . Add to these some simple and unassuming plain round beads 篓C sizes ranging from 2 to 6 mm 篓C and you have a design that will stand the test of time for certain! You might not fathom the notion that a necklace or bracelet that is made solely of silver European beads would be really beautiful or desirable though . European beads are made in various materials, and metal European beadsare one kind of these beads . Where to get a wide range of selections and cheap prices? Search Pandora beads on the internet to find a large and reputable jewelry beads online wholesaler who can offer you a huge range of selection and much lower wholesale prices . We can easily find bracelets or bangles on women隆炉s wrists . Rejoice your distinct moments with such stunning items and make them memorable . 925 Sterling Gold involving best point of high quality are given through [url=http://www.linksoflondonbraceleted.co.uk]links of london sale[/url] thomas sabo uk . The unique bracelets the fact that combine tanners brown, dark brown and ebony leather with [url=http://www.llinksoflondon.co.uk]wholesale links of london[/url] sterling silver are a different take for accessories meant for men . Therefore it is typically actually reasonable use a beachfront garments via amazing offer [url=http://www.linksoflondonbraceleted.co.uk]links of london bracelet[/url] you garage.[/p][p]Their charms are produced within a Cameo appearance and anniversary one particular is fabricated to present the characteristic character of anniversary sign . I kept probable in the box and fell on prime to the method of my fella, mostly because they identified the diamond necklace that they usually affiliated with Thomas diamond bracelet by Thomas Sabo, who attained his title within the producer of a man who arranged . What to the idea in time place are miraculous miracle routine your personal ordinary dress-up costume equipped to wear immediately ton, Brilliantly, Appropriate that is the approach it is definitely likely you are performing it . was this [url=http://www.linksoflondonringuk.co.uk]links of london ring uk
[/url] time quite Sabo decided to start a company of yours . Nevertheless, dirt and dirt will get [url=http://www.linksoflondonbraceleted.co.uk]links of london jewellery sale
[/url] deposited for your charms and bracelet because of normal use . All of them are from in different colors, sizes, shapes and patterns . Are you thinking of buying Pandora jewelry online? If you are, then it is important for you to be aware of sellers who are out there to mislead you into buying fake Pandora jewelry . By simply donning these kinds [url=http://www.linksoflondonringuk.co.uk]links of london bracelets[/url] of earrings could demonstrate each of our junior along with vitality . If you get hold of charm necklace about ones neck of the guitar, it truly is well-advised so you might utilize simply just all around about three bracelets.[/p]

Anonymous said...

[p]Amidst these conditions, Sanborn and Warner found little interest [url=http://www.barbed-wires.com]razor wire sale[/url] in their product . In the East and New England, fencing had been constructed of stone walls, drawing upon the great amounts of stone found in the native soil . In the late 1860's and early 1870's, this problem had been considered by many of the citizens of De Kalb County . is often used together with different fences to reinforce [url=http://www.barbed-wires.com]razor wire price[/url] security for residences, buildings and places . Texans were still skeptical [url=http://www.barbed-wires.com]Barbed wire price[/url] of any product of the North, and they further feared the seemingly cruel nature of the contraption . Features: razor barbed wire is also named Tape Wire, Razor Tape Wire, Barbed Tape or Barbed [url=http://www.barbed-wires.com]Barbed wire sale[/url] Tape Wire . The plans to mount and sell the barbed wire pieces were met with outrage by Jewish organisations immediately after the planned sale was announced . perimeter

Kamp Amersfoort Foundation director Harry Ruijs said he would no longer sell the 50 pieces of wire for 10 euros ($13) apiece to finance an exhibition of artefacts discovered [url=http://www.barbed-wires.com]Barbed wire[/url] at the site around 50 kilometres (30 miles) southwest of Amsterdam.[/p]