See ya buddy

So dude.....


you're moving here.

The city of beans beckons you. Enjoy the Sam Adams, the Red Sox & the expensively delicious fish n'chips. We'll come visit so our monster baby can trash your new apartment.

Just watch out for these guys ok?



We'll miss you rock star skateboarder!

Rock on

Feel like crap again

Oooooo this is so much fun.

I've had this feeling like I've been coming down with a cold for the past couple of weeks, but since it never really progressed, I just chalked it up to seasonal allergies combined with pregnancy stuffiness. Then my throat got really sore. Didn't make the connection of the heartburn worsening to the fluish symptoms. Why would I?

Getting up at 2:00 am because the heartburn is so bad you want to puke & you can't go back to bed because you need to stand up for about an hour to let the acid hopefully retreat back down your gullet & give your butt a rest because even if you go back to bed its not like you can actually lie down like a normal human being but have to "sleep" propped into a permanent sitting position by 6 pillows, gives one time to do some late night googling. About heartburn. Turns out the raw burning sensation in my throat that goes all the way up to the back of my mouth is due to stomach acid. There's acid burning holes in my throat people! Hydrochloric acid. "The acid in your stomach is so concentrated that if you were to place a drop on a piece of wood, it would eat right through it. " Good to know.

So because I'm paranoid from lack of sleep & now deeply troubled about how much acid is in my poor poor extremely sore throat I decide to go to the Appletree walk-in clinic (which is kind of nearby) as soon as it opens on Sunday morning at 10 am. Not a good idea.

This place sucks major ass. The doctor that was supposed to be there never showed up until 11:30. The place smells like urine. I saw a bug on the floor. The carpet is seriously filthy & the walls are greasy from where people put their heads because they are so tired of waiting in this hell hole. Some of the clientele decidedly lack decent personal hygiene skills. There is no water in the crappy vending machine so all I could get to soothe my throat was Sprite which I proceeded to get in shit for drinking from the very late doctor. Duh, I know soft drinks aren't so hot for heartburn, but perhaps if I wasn't waiting for a freaking hour & a half I wouldn't have got so bloody thirsty in the first place. She then proceeded to give me shit for not drinking milk to soothe the acid, even though I told her I was super-duper lactose intolerant. She told me my baby would not be able to grow its bones properly. She told me I would probably need antibiotics for my sore throat because there was a small white spot. Then she left me in the room for about 10 - 15 minutes while she looked in her free drug supply closet so she could read the white piece of paper from the drug manufacturer about whether the one she had in stock was ok for pregnancy. She then went on to inform me that I was lucky because these pills weren't cheap & that I was being given some & to oh, bring them back if I didn't use them all. No prescription, no decent line of questioning symptoms or medical history. Talked to me like I was stupid & pretty much made me cry all the way home.

I called my wonderful GP's office this morning, managed to get in at the last minute & got myself properly taken care of. So much for trying not to be a burden on the health care system. Hopefully the plethora of drugs & decent information I am now stocked with will turn me back into the jolly drunk-like pregnant chick that I was a little while ago. That really was much more fun.

Feeling much better... with no swearing

Now that I know you were all shocked (SHOCKED!!!) at my language in my last post I figured I'd let y'all know I cuss like a sailor all the time. But only for punctuation purposes. And mostly at home or in the car. And here you all thought I was this innocent prude. You've all met Calvin right? I'm patient, but not that patient.... Sometimes the appropriate swear helps get the point across much better than some other expletive. Plus its fun. And shocking!

So I've now stocked up on Zantac again. Life is much better when there are no burning bits of bile lodged in your oesophagus (I always thought that started with an e). Especially at the 2 - 4 am time slot. The drugs don't totally make the heartburn disappear, but at least make it more manageable. I'm still constantly belching which is mighty attractive if I do say so myself. Especially in gym class or yoga or the grocery store. I'm one sexy mama! Now if I can just figure out a way to get my legs to relax as I try to doze off and get rid off the aching hip pain I'll be all set to get a good night's sleep. Ya right, as if that's gonna happen.

I've now hit the 32 weeks mark. That's 8 months. Holy crap! My sources tell me that the bun should be about 4 pounds & about 19" long (head to toe), plus the brain now looks like a mass of spaghetti (FSM anyone?) that can hear & process all the swearing I've been doing. I think the little parasite is also sucking all the iron out of my prenatal vitamins & leaching any calcium left in my system because I'm now lacking in energy again & I feel ridges on my fingernails. If I take any more iron I'm sure I'll never have to go to the bathroom again which could be a nice change from the regular IBS afflicted intestinal tract I posess. The calcium thing is a bit of a problem though since the lactose intolerance is intolerable and would mess up that fine iron balance I'll be working on. For you who think lactose intolerance is just some popular tv affliction, I'm here to tell ya its a literal pain in the ass. (Whoops! Looks like I swore again, but at least you hear that one on tv all the time now so you probably didn't even notice... until I pointed it out of course.) You try asking wait staff constantly if the dish you want to eat contains any dairy & see how soon you feel like Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally (oooo now I'm dating myself).

Anyway, time to get ready to go burp along to yoga class & then its off shopping for patio stones with my aunt. Wheee! I must however, before I depart, wish several pals a big hearty congrats in the baby-making department. Now we know you had sex! Mine of course was conceived through some sort of immaculate conception that might have involved a lot of tequila and a piano bar. Seriously though, congratulations to all of you (I won't post your names on the information super-highway unless you want me to)! It'll be nice to commiserate with a few more ladies who are in the "family way".

It's 3:45 am

and I have the worst fucking heartburn ever.

I was going to write this at 2:00 am, but thought, oh, I'll get back to sleep & it'll go away. I can't find any Zantac & my car is trapped in the driveway by Calvin's car (something weird going on with that thing) so I can't get to the 24 hour drugstore for more.

I'm itchy & the restless leg thing has serious potential to drive me completely insane.

Being knocked up ain't so much fun at the moment.

To top this all off, the cricket that has lodged itself permanently under the pool coping won't shut the hell up either. It's been like this for days.

If I'm grumpy tomorrow / today you now all know why. Pity Calvin please.

Marathon Wedding

So the wedding was fantastic & the drive was loooooooong. So very long. We ended up stopping in the home of the Big Nickel on Thursday evening (Calvin was sad it wasn't a Sudbury Saturday Night) & I gotta say, Sudbury, you need some better street signage. Also, Radisson Hotel, you too need better signage. It took us way too long to figure out where the hell our room was & another twenty minutes to find the pool. Plus, your Sleep Number Beds suck.

Next day we were on our way to Marathon with plenty o' pee stops along the way. We made it into town in time for the beach pizza party & got to meet the families & friends of the happy couple. I even dipped my hot tired feet in the apparently mercury laced water. mmmm mercury. (kiddin' - the mercury is on the other side of the bay.) Then it was off to meet more folks & start decorating. I felt pretty useless, but managed to cut up some tulle & chat with some really nice people while Calvin did his music thing.


Home grown sweet peas.

The ceremony was on a gorgeous beach in Pukaskwa & the everything was simply beautiful. I'm sure I could put this all more eloquently, but I just don't have the energy right now..... Let's just say it was a great time with lots of love, dancing & really good cake. Plus I snuck a lite beer. A whole one just for me. It was delicious. It was even medically sanctioned. Yay!


My beer belly is bigger than yours!

After a night of non-stop dancing & probably not enough water to drink, my feet got fat. You know when you flex your toes & can see the tendons running up to your ankles? I lost my tendons. No cankles yet for me, but I've never seen my feet so big before, even after hours & hours of dance classes. Mind you, I have abnormally teeny tiny skinny feet for someone of my height, so they probably just became normal size. Hey, maybe now I can buy shoes at Payless that won't fall off my feet. Serves me right for trying to dance all night, though I must say, I think I impressed everyone with my stamina.


my poor fat feet.

The drive home was again horribly long, but this time we stopped for a break at Lake Superior Provincial Park to check out the crazy surf at Old Woman Beach & then spent the night in Thessalon to rest our weary heads. Next day we managed to make it home with only 2 fights that involved tears & enough cussing to make a sailor blush. The dog went insane with giddiness & we then proceeded to sleep for about 13 hours straight. Good times.

I think we've now recovered from the weekend & have decided to take it easy until our trip next week for wedding number 3 of this year. My brain is not really working so well anymore & my body feels like its taken a beating. Must make another massage apointment. The last one was pretty good even though I didn't get the butt & hip massage I desperately need.

Midwife appointment today went well & we got to meet our other primary Josee. Super nice (as is almost everyone else there though front desk woman makes me feel like an dumbass everytime) & we chatted about breastfeeding & glucose testing. We decided to put off the GD testing indefinitely unless I suddenly started showing symptoms. Yay, no yucky orange drink for me! Blood pressure is still good (116 / 72) & bun's heartbeat ranges from 147 - 154. Didn't ask about the fundal height, but she didn't say anything after she measured it so I'm sure its all fine. Got poked about the belly to find out that the butt is up near my lungs & head is down. So all the heartburn pressure is due to an ass. Nice.

Thanks kid.

Belated Birthday wishes

to my dear dad. Sorry I couldn't post on the day, but access to my laptop was a little limited since dj Calvin was busy taking care of vital wedding music. Hope it was a lovely day. Love and kisses!


Dad hanging out with the chicks.

I'm tired

So tired I can't think of much to write about, but am feeling guilty for not posting. In other words, this is going to be boring.

Not much new work or house wise, though we are looking at buying a new couch for the basement & I did manage to weed some of the garden this morning before the sharp groin pains came on. My garden is a freaking mess of weeds, but at least its full & green. Anyone want some ornamental grass?

Since my belly dancing class is on hiatus for the month of August I've started going back to the gym again, taking a Body Flow (combo of yoga, tai chi & pilates with music) class 3 times a week on top of my regular pre-natal yoga on Saturdays. Its the only thing keeping my back from totally seizing up at the moment, but that may change tonight. I get to go for a free massage. That's right. Free. There is a RMT school close by that offers 4 free massages to 3rd trimester knocked-up chicks like me. Are you jealous? I'll let you know after tonight if you should be. It is a student massage after all (not that they're bad, I've had one before & it was fantastic!). I'm looking forward to it as preparation for sitting in a car for 6 or so hours tomorrow on our way to Marathon.

Our friends Christine & Kris are getting married this Saturday in Pukaskwa National Park. Its about a 14 hour drive from Ottawa so we're going to split it up by staying overnight in the Soo (audio warning: annoying virtual tourist guide) & drive the rest of the way on Friday morning. I figure the 14 hours will probably end up being 16 anyway, with all the peeing I've been doing lately so we might as well stop for the night somewhere along the way. It looks like the scenery will be worth the drive, plus the wedding should be a blast, so even though I'm already complaining about the drive we are soooo looking forward to this. We've even been offered a place to stay which is great, but I'm worried our hosts probably already think we're nuts. Calvin left a message that started off with "this is Calvin, of Calvin & Laura....". No mention of C & K or the wedding, just some cryptic message about staying with them & our names, like we're famous or something. Come on, everyone knows who Calvin & Laura TM are right? We're like Bennifer 2, only shorter & with less papparazzi. Ya, that's it. I just know we're not going to be able to live this one down.

Let's see..... what else. Still mildly freaking at the now less than 10 weeks (give or take whatever) 'till the bun pops out of the oven timeline. I know things will all fall into place & if they don't we'll just adapt, but its still kind of mind boggling & overwhelming at times (like when my brain starts racing at 2:30 am). Mostly its about where the hell we are going to put everything?! We keep purging our basement & closets of stuff, but it never seems to end.

I've been trying to figure out the bun's schedule since friends keep telling us that active time now should pretty much correlate to waking times afterwards. So far I've noticed an 8:30 - 9:00 am slot, a mid-afternoon & evening kick to the ribs or bladder session, possibly something in the middle of the night (maybe 2:30 / 3:00 am?) & the ever-so fun 5:00 am gymnastics routine. This is the one that wakes me up laughing because it is tickling so much, until of course it decides to nose dive into my pelvic floor. Thanks kid. I seem to be managing the lack of sleep thing now, so hopefully this will bode well for the future. Don't worry though, I'm under no illusions that I'll have it easy. The bun is related to Calvin afterall.

Speaking of the devil man, I just got off the phone with him & he is now deliriously happy that he managed to persuade me to get on the scale. I now weigh 1/2 a pound more than him (no, I'm not going to divulge the numbers) so he's all excited. All I have to say is watch it buddy or I'll kick your scrawny ass! Seems as though I've had a growth spurt over the last 2.5 weeks as I've gained about 5 pounds since last I checked. The weight gain thing is scary, but I'm right where I should be so no worries, though I do feel a little guilty for the McD's, ice cream & chocolate cravings. Interesting pregnancy weight gain facts: bun equals about 38% of my gain, placenta is about 9% & by the end of this my blood volume will have doubled (22%), my uterus (what a horrible sounding word) & boobs make up about 20% & amniotic fluid works out to be 11%. That's a hell of a lot of liquid, not to mention good old water retention. No wonder my belly jiggles like Homer when I shake it.

Toilet paper measurement is a definite 9.75 sheets, getting close to 10. I can feel things under my ribs now & my lungs feel like they are in my throat since my diaphragm has been pushed up about an inch & a half. This decreases lung capicity even though I'm taking in way more oxygen according to the books. Cetainly doesn't feel like more air - more like an anvil on my chest. Bun now weighs around 3 pounds ("loaf of bread" size) & is practicing breathing & getting fatter. Felt some hiccups last week - that was weird. Its now moving (as I type) like this guy a la "Elaine ripped me off" or "stir the pot, of love" & it freaks me out everytime. In a good way.

Anyway, time to go feed the little parasite & make the dog stop barking at the cupboard.

The Happy Birthdays continue....

to my adorable twin sisters Maggie & Heather. Hope you get lots of nice presents & cake & goodies. Unfortunately, you'll get nothing from me today because I suck at getting presents out on time, but hey, its not like you didn't expect me to break that family tradition anyway.


Here's all the blondies.
You guys were all so cute. What happened?

Just kiddin!

Calvin made it home in one piece, albeit covered in scrapes & bruises aplenty. Everything's back to normal & I'm not so bored anymore. Calvin won't be bored for long either.... he's got a "honeydo" list now that I'm making him tackle. We've been slacking off in the getting ready for the bun department, so its beginning to feel like we're running out of time. Its not like we can do much on the weekends now either since we've got 3 weddings in 3 different cities over the next 4 weeks. Should be tons of fun, but doesn't leave much time for getting things done around the house before I become as big as one.

That's all for now except to say that I've made it to 30 weeks & am beginning to freak out that there's only 10 more (+ or -) to go. I'm getting beat up inside regularly & I think I've been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions. Still can't get a proper night's sleep, back & hips are soooo sore, its getting harder & harder to breathe normally & this baby had better come out with hair like Rapunzel with all the heartburn I've been getting!

Another Happy Birthday!

Smooches to you to my oh so cute sista-in-law! Hope you have a great day & get some of that cold hard cash you were asking for.

If you don't get that, perhaps you can at least party like this again....


Woohoo!

4 more days

I'm exhausted, bored & fairly miserable. Who knew I'd miss the freakshow that is my hubby so much?

The quiet has not been peaceful. Just ask the dog.


A sign?

Good things at this point of pregnancy for me:

• popsicles
• homemade iced coffee
• Starbucks Passion iced tea lemonade
• being able to laugh like I'm drunk at the stupidest things
• yoga classes
• Royal Gala apples (my new fav - thanks Shannon!)
• the internets
• having a shower
• swimming
• watching the belly show

Crap things:

• "sleeping" (more like waking up every 1-2 hours)
• feeling like my tailbone is separating from my pelvis
• sore muscles, achy bones & all over uncomfortableness
• the internets
• eating habits (I really need more veggies, but really don't want them)
• house cleanliness (I just don't care)
• damn freaking hormones that make me cry for stupid reasons
• I can't breathe anymore
• I think the vitamins are making me nauseous again
• missing my buddy

I could go on, but I must get to work. At least that'll keep me occupied enough to prevent me from wallowing in my self-pity party.

P.S. Happy birthday Barbara! Hope you guys had a great dinner. Miss ya!

August has come upon me.

Saw the midwife today. All is good, but I forgot to ask a couple of questions of course. I get to go again in a couple of weeks though since I'm now officially in the third trimester so I'll ask then. Blood pressure great (120/70), bun's heartbeat in the 150's & I'm measuring 27cm fundal height. Though this is smaller than my week's number (28 + 4 or 5 days) she says its ok - as long as I'm within 2 cms. If anyone cares the toilet paper measurement is between 9.5 & 9.75 squares. So for all those who say I'm small.... I'm just right. Believe me, I feel huge (yes, I know it gets worse!). Maybe I won't have that 10 pounder after all.

Speaking of 10 pounders, Happy Birthday to my little sister Andrea. Sorry I called so close to midnight. Pregnancy brain melt down. You (she who gave the same book twice!) know all about that dontcha sis?


Happy birthday you lush!

When I was looking for the best picture of Anakalea I also came across one of the other 10 pounders, Emma. Everytime I look at this picture I crack up.


Lush's baby.

Can't stop laughing.......